What happens in a first counselling session?
Starting counselling for the first time can feel a little daunting, particularly when you don’t know what to expect. You might wonder what you’re supposed to talk about, whether there will be lots of questions, or whether you need to arrive knowing exactly what you want help with.
The simple answer is: you don’t.
A first counselling session is an opportunity for you and your counsellor to begin getting to know one another. There is no right way to do it and no expectation that you tell your whole story in fifty minutes.
What happens when we first meet?
In a first session, we will usually spend some time talking about what has brought you to counselling and what you might like from our work together. You can share as much or as little as feels comfortable.
I may ask a few questions to help me understand you and your situation, but counselling is not an interview and there are no right or wrong answers.
We will also talk through practical things such as confidentiality, how sessions work and any questions you may have.
Do I have to talk about everything?
No. You are always in control of what you choose to share.
There may be things you are not ready to talk about, things you are still trying to make sense of, or simply things you would rather keep private. That is okay.
Counselling is not about pushing you to disclose more than you feel comfortable with. We can work at your pace, and sometimes trust takes time to develop.
You do not need to arrive with everything figured out. We can start wherever you are.
What if I don’t know what to say?
That’s completely okay. You don’t need to prepare what you’re going to say before you arrive.
Sometimes people begin with whatever has happened that day. Sometimes there is silence. Sometimes the thing they thought they wanted to talk about turns out not to be the thing that needs their attention at all.
My role isn’t to expect you to perform or fill every silence. We can take our time and allow the conversation to develop naturally.
There is no perfect way to “do” counselling.
How will I know if the counsellor is right for me?
The relationship you have with your counsellor matters. You might want to notice whether you feel listened to, respected and able to be yourself.
You do not have to decide immediately. Sometimes it takes a little time to settle into counselling and begin to feel comfortable.
Equally, not every counsellor will feel right for every person. It is okay to ask questions, talk about how the sessions feel, and decide whether the relationship feels like one in which you could begin to explore what is happening for you.
Counselling should feel like something we are doing together, rather than something being done to you.
What happens at the end of the first session?
Towards the end of the session, we can talk about how the experience has felt for you and whether you would like to continue.
There is no pressure to make a decision on the spot. You may want some time to think about whether counselling, and working with me, feels right for you.
If you do decide to continue, we can talk about what might work best going forward. Counselling does not have to follow a predetermined path. What we explore, and the pace at which we explore it, can develop alongside you.
The first session is simply a beginning.
If you are considering counselling, you are welcome to get in touch or book a free 15-minute introductory call. It is simply an opportunity to meet, ask any questions you may have and see whether working together feels right for you.
I offer humanistic, person-centred counselling for adults and adolescents, with in-person sessions in Southampton and the New Forest, and online counselling available across the UK.
Sometimes the hardest part is simply making that first contact. You don’t need to know exactly what you want to say before you do.
Thinking about starting counselling?
Beyond the ordinary
If you’re thinking about counselling, you can learn more about the support I offer, or take a look at fees and booking. There’s no pressure to have everything figured out before making contact.